True Tales of My Life...

Well, as was apparently more inevitable than I realized, my faithful Cutlass is finished.  Sometime this week it will be replaced with one of three candidates: a black (or red) Kia Spectra, a black Hyundai Elantra, or a black or red Toyota Corrolla.  I've test driven the Kia and I liked it, but we'll see if I get a better deal or drive with the other two.  I'm also going to try a Hyundai Accent, but I anticipate that it will be much too small for my tastes.

Thus continues my summer of unexpected twists...

...and my summer with no teaching job for the fall.  Each day I wonder a little more about the fall.  I really do not want to be still at Ritz in late August looking at spending a full year there before I get another shot.  I will definitely substitute before I do that.  Hopefully I'm around the corner from the job I want.  I've expanded to Ohio and Virginia in hopes of finding a suitable job opening.  I'm tinkering with New Jersey, but for some reason it seems so far away compared to North Carolina or Virginia. 

I guess it's all just keeping your head up.

I've had an interesting couple of weeks actually.  Ritz has been a bit rough.  I've had a nother few customers who think they're better than me.  I'm getting pretty tired of it and I've welcomed a chance to spend one shift or two every week in the lab doing finishing orders and taking care of the machines.  Those are my stress free (generall) days.

July has been very good to me starting out.  I've had some great camera sales to kick the month off and I'm hoping that I can continue the push.  Right now, with a computer and car payment as well as insurance and other things weighing on my finances, I won't have any overhead if I don't sell.  As it is, I'm going to be scraping by for a little until things get set up.  I'm excited for the chance to move away for a job, but I'm worried about that first month of rent.  I can make it by, its just going to take a few very painful cuts in spending. 

Weight loss is going okay.  I'm not doing as good as I'd hoped, but I've made a few modifications to the plan and should be accelerating it a bit soon.  The trick really is avoiding foods that aren't good but taste great.  I haven't had a McDonald's or Wendy's burger in forever, and that is probably a good thing.  I don't really miss them.  I've found better alternatives.  I still have the occassional burger in the food court at work, but I don't have fries with it and I make sure it fits into my daily diet plan.  It's hard, but I feel rewarded by the ability to fit certain clothes again.

I've been doing a bit of writing.  Who knows, maybe I can turn that into a secondary career.  The trick is getting published.  I'm looking at an online freelancing company that sells to magazines.  Hopefully they will take some of my work and try to get me some money for it.  I don't mind paying a percentage to them as long as I get something for my stuff.  It'd be nice to be published again...that's for sure.

Well...it's late and I'm getting a bit exhausted and should have already gone to bed since I'm working 10-7 before going test driving again...

: )

Nicky D

PS- I'll show you all the car when I pick it.  Probably later in the week...Thursday is the day I'm targeting...

June is almost up, and with it the first full month of my summer vacation.  The job front news is getting better as many North Carolina schools are sending out requests for information.  I may look into Virginia and South Carolina just to see if there is more interest there too...just a thought right now.

I finally have a couple days off after working for eight straight days and no less than 70 hours on the clock.  If I add in the time that I haven't clocked in for, I'm up near 90 hours.  That should be over until we have to move again.  We're finally settled.  My June hasn't gone as spectacular as I would have liked on the sales floor and I have some ideas for how to regain my fire in July, a month I usually do extremely well in.  We'll see.  I'm getting good paychecks...I'm just not making killer sales.  There's always grow room.  I could probably add another hundred to two hundred to my paycheck if I really push.

I'm psyched for the rest of summer.  Once I get a job, I'll get to put my roots down somewhere and begin life.  It's not scary at all...its relieving.  I'm on the precipice of a great beginning with a happy ending likely.  I just have to find the jumping off point.  I've got OC to be ready for, job interviews, and a successful weight loss plan going.

I have, up to today, lost over ten pounds.  I'm getting healthy and I'm feeling it.  I don't feel out of breath a lot anymore.  I have energy I didn't think I would have.  For example, after working for seven straight days in the busiest store in the area, I still had energy for the eighth.  I don't think I could have worked eight straight days two months ago.  There's also a special confidence from knowing you look better and that you are getting healthier.  You feel refreshed and renewed.  Now if only I had some days off to spend slumming around my house by myself.  That is the time that is fun...having nothing to do but relax.

I've bought a few games this summer, probably much to my detriment.  I reinstalled all of the Sims 2 games and packs on my new computer and I bought Sim City Societies tonight.  Should be a nice release if I have time to play.  I like building stuff.  I can tell you where it came from...

When I was little, I loved Legos.  I think if they weren't in the attic, I'd still build stuff out of Legos.  I might get them down someday just to do it.  Can't beat them for a time killer.  I never built the sets from directions.  If I did, they lasted ten minutes before I made them part of some other scratch project.  I've built everything from mansions to aircraft carriers to spaceships. 

The Sims is like a new, more adult way of doing that.  I build house after house and business after business.  Now I'm going to build some cities.  The cities will be fun if only because I can build my Utopia or just make crazy oppressive places to be fun and take out aggression in a strategic way.

Okay...time for bed.  I'm going to the Zoo tomorrow, albeit without my good camera, which is lacking a memory card.  It'll be a nice time though with Julie, Madi, and Mikey.  I just hope we don't get rained out.  I love the rain.  I wish it would just storm while I'm sleeping so I could sleep great.

Okay.  I'm off to bed so that I can actually function tomorrow.  I'm still staying up way too late, something I need to correct when I get home after the zoo.  Time to get back on a reasonable sleep schedule...

: )

Nicky D

Still feel like I'm running for President.  I drew another parallel.  While watching the sixth season of "West Wing," I watched new candidate Matt Santos shaking hands with people as a relative unknown, introducing himself as a Presidential candidate. 

I can't even count how many people I've introduced myself to as a prospective teacher looking for a job.  I do it everwhere.  It's practically part of any conversation I have with someone, whether at work or just out.  How crazy is that?

Whew...what a day.  It was back to Ritz after five days off.  It's amazing how time flies.  I feel like I just got done last week and now I'm back.  Don't get me wrong, I'm more rested.  I'll have to be if I'm going to make it through the new gauntlet: Eight straight days and 70 1/2 hours in that span.  I'm not complaining, though.  The paychecks from these kind of weeks are great.  That 70 1/2 hours looks really nice as $500 in base pay before commissions.  I think I can stomach that.  I'm seeing Julie Friday and next week for a couple days too, so there shouldn't be any issue with getting time to relax on either end.

After next week, I'm going to take a day or two off at random points just to break up these streaks.  I don't mind working 40 hour weeks, but I don't want all 40 in one streak of days.  This way, I can break up the days a little.  I'll also be able to schedule time with Julie as well as time with Dad or Stultz or anyone else...or just time alone for my sanity.

I officially got my vacation time approved for Ocean City today.  That's pretty much a formality, but I wanted to take a bit of time to discuss it.  I took more days than I needed, which I always do with vacations.  I need time to pack and then time to recover (and want to go back to work).  Who knows.  July could be my last month at Ritz if I get one of the NC jobs I applied for today. 

Stop and think for a minute.  Those of you who've known me a long time know that Ritz is practically my second home, whether its Washington or South Hills.  Six years and almost a month now.  By the end of July, six years and two months.  It would be the end of an era for me and for Ritz.  I'm one of the longest tenured associates in the district (not to mention one of the best in my opinion).

Oh well...too much to think about so soon.  I emailed a ton of principals tonight and filled out the online general application for North Carolina.  I sent it to several counties and will keep expanding until I hear something.  I'm going to open up in Maryland next...probably as soon as next week.  If that doesn't work, I'm going to try Virginia and Ohio.  If that doesn't work, South Carolina and New York.  If that doesn't work...okay I haven't thought beyond that.  Someone in seven states must need or want me.  At least I hope so...

I'm no longer frustrated with life.  It's been awhile since I went through one of those weeks where I was overworked and had enough other problems to set me off.  This week has been pretty good.  I had a couple negative and noteworthy customers today, but I just sort of shrugged them off.  One kind of got to me a little until I made her day, which felt good.

I've reached a turning point at work too.  It was hard for me at first to want to be great again after working so long in Washington without Shana over my shoulder coaching me and teaching me.  I was practically top dog there and I had no motivation from above to do anything.  Now I go in every day looking to be the best again.  I feel better too.  My numbers are climbing back to where they used to be and should have always been.  The paychecks are good motivation, but having Shana back over my shoulder helps.  She's the best at what she does and that's why her store has always been one of the best in the company.

I'm still excited about NC.  I'm actually contemplating getting up early to check emails tomorrow morning rather than my usual quick shower then off to work mornings.  Who knows...I was going to do that this morning and then I hit the snooze alarm exactly seven times before I got up an hour and ten minutes later than planned...and still got to work ten minutes early.

Okay...time to talk to Julie and then go to sleep so I can be back at work and enslave myself (voluntarily) for nine hours...

: )

Nicky D

This week is going to be kind of like my Super Tuesday...

I'm done waiting for Pennsylvania.  I've given them exactly a month and a week since graduation.  This week, I'm kicking my campaign in gear in North Carolina and Maryland.  I'm not really looking back.  I did some calling in PA yesterday and today to gauge interest and was told basically "don't call us, we'll call you."  That's fine...but when you call, I might not be here anymore.

I'm pretty excited about this and I can't really hide it.  Staying in PA was only a temporary plan anyway.  My dream had always been to live further south, especially in NC where the whether is beautiful.  I know that a lot of people would love me to stay in PA, particularly mom, but I can't keep waiting and hoping.  I did some asking this weekend and found out that grad school, the next most viable option here, could hurt my chances of getting a job because I'd price myself out of most school districts.  I'm not going to sub unless I absolutely have to.  I just don't want to wait to start teaching.  I want to teach...like tomorrow.

Better calm myself a little.  Tomorrow I'll be at Ritz again after a five day layoff that was mostly restful.  The first two days were pretty crappy, but the last three have been nice.  I got my new computer yesterday, and that has proved to really bolster my mood.  It's nice to be on a computer that doesn't crash all the time and stays hooked up to AC power without being taped, paper clipped, and pushed together.  It's also nice knowing that when I want to take this thing someplace to do stuff, I can actually disconnect from the AC power and take it around the house. 

I spent more than I had originally intended, but only because I wanted to get a nice outfit.  I got a TV Tuner.  That was the most unnecessary thing that I got, but I wanted to have a DVR.  Now I can record programs to watch and/or use in the classroom.  I'm taping something tomorrow morning on History, so we'll see if it actually records without me there to press go.  I also got a new chill pad that keeps my computer remarkably cool even though its on most of the day.  I'm still undecided about turning it off at night (I can't tonight because of my recording thing).  I know that this computer will stand up to being left on, but I think I will probably turn it off at least a few nights every week.

My paychecks are really awesome right now.  I'm closing on five hundred per pay and still climbing.  I'll need all of it if I'm going to move into a decent apartment in the fall. 

That's the big thing I'm unsure of...once I get the job, when do I move there?  I guess I'll have to consult some people who've already taken out of state jobs to see what they're doing.  I would like to move well before the school year, but I have the Ocean City trip with Julie's family at the beginning of August.  I could move before that and come home until the trip and then leave not long after.  I could also just wait until after and do it all at once.  One thing is for sure...it will be a group effort getting me out of this house.  I intend to take everything with me.  I'll need it.  The other thing that I need to consider is working at Ritz.  I know that when I need to go, Shana will let me go, but I don't want to leave too early when there is still money to be made.  I guess the best thing to do is get the job and then decide.

One thing is for sure...I'm really psyched about the chance to do this...live the dream...it won't be easy and there are so many things to consider in my life, but I think that this will be a beneficial change in the end.  It will also get me out of this same old area that I've spent life in and thrust me into somewhere totally new.  I like the sound of that.

Well I best be off to bed before I get beyond the point of getting rest before work...

: )

Nicky D

PS-This is the first update from my new computer...many to come!!!

It's been a frustrating week here in Washington.  To sum it all up, I'm worn out.

From last Friday through yesterday, I worked 53 hours (on the clock) in seven days, with one of those days (Saturday) off.  Off the clock, I probably added another five or six hours.  Add in driving time, and I've been doing something involving work for almost 70 hours in seven days. 

The move went well.  It was kind of fun to hang with the Ritz crew for a few days.  It would have been better without a certain person there, but sometimes we don't get all the breaks.  This week, though, I haven't gotten any really. 

I've been yelled at by customers I don't know how many times this week.  I've had three particularly nasty ones.  The two I had on Wednesday pushed me over the threshold and I had to actually leave the sales floor to collect myself.  That hasn't happened in six years.  I know its part of working at a busier store in a decidedly richer area, but wow did it have to all hit the fan this week.  I'm already exhausted by lack of sleep and overcommitment to my job.  I'm glad Gabby, Julia, Justin, and Shana have been around to keep me laughing. 

To add to the stress of the never-ending work week was a change in plans that means that Julie can't go to Kennywood with us on Sunday.  That went over like a lead balloon with me and her, and it means we won't see each other for another week or so.  As if I didn't have enough problems to worry about now I can add the stress of not seeing my girlfriend to the list. 

Then, today I get a letter denying my insurance application (I'm too old to be on my parents' plan) because of my weight.  They might has well have just said "You're too fat to have insurance."  Nice...  I've never felt so insulted by a company in my life.  Now I had to go to my doctor's office to ask them to write a letter to the company saying that my weight is not a problem for my health.  Watch them still decline me.  I'm currently uninsured and have been that way since June 1st.  What if something happens to me?  Oh wait...they don't really care. 

Then, as I'm leaving the doctor's office, I get in my car and it won't turn over.  It won't even try.  It's stuck under and overpass, dead as a doornail.  Probably is the starter.  I considered getting a new car until we found someone who will fix it and not charge too much for it.  It's actually rather cheap and is lower than the payment on a new car, which was my criteria for getting it fixed.  I guess I should have seen it coming...bad things come in threes.  At least I'm at that limit.  What else could go wrong?

I almost got killed the other night by some crazy guy speeding down a road near my house.  He whizzed in front of me about five feet from my bumper and hit a phone pole with the back end of his car.  I was so in shock that I didn't stop.  I also was mildly pissed at the guy.  Mom blames me for not stopping.  She told me he got life-flighted.  I'm sorry, but I'm still pissed off.  Maybe it'd be nice to hear that I'm okay and that she's glad about that.  Instead, all I've heard is berating for not stopping to see.  I was past the guy when I heard his car hit and I saw another car stop in my rear-view mirror.  Why should I stop too?  I was nearly his victim.  Without insurance on my body.  My car would have been fine...guess I should take comfort in knowing that even though I'd be dead, my car would be paid for...

As if that's not enough, I've come to the realization that there are no schools in PA who seem interested in hiring me.  So much supposedly going for me and I haven't even gotten a sniff of interest from any school.  I'm expanding my search to Maryland and North Carolina.  Hopefully that yields a job.  If not I'll keep expanding until I have one.  It's just frustrating.  I've heard about so many supposed openings and haven't even been contacted.  I feel left out.  It's not helping me feel better this week.  I can't ignore the feelings in the pit of my stomach...the disappointment...  It's there.  Hopefully working the search further from home will yield something in the way of satisfaction. 

One thing's for sure.  I'm never coming back to PA.  This state ticks me off in many ways.  I also want to be away from home for good.  I'm tired of my house and living with my parents.  Don't get me wrong, I love them, but I've never been comfortable at home since I moved back from being at school full time.  I liked that autonomy.  I want it back.  I'm going to get it back by getting my job.

First, though, I have to get the car fixed tomorrow.  At least its inexpensive.  It just passed inspection, so I know its sound otherwise.  The starter has been iffy for awhile anyway.  I should have seen it coming to this point.  Just wish it had happened another week...any...other...week.

I'm off until Wednesday morning at 10am.  I'm looking forward to the time off.  It should give me a chance to relax and collect myself a little bit.  I've been making a ton of money, but I'm going to have to start taking more time off to go to interviews out of state and then start looking for places to live once I get a job.  I've also just got to take more time off for myself and to do things I want to do.  I knew this week was going to happen.  The move made it necessary.  Now that we are settled, though, I'm going back to my regular hours.  I'm going to take a day off every week just to break things up (otherwise I tend to work in big streaks) and a few days off to see a Pirates game or two, go see Julie, just sleep in and relax, and go take pictures (haven't done that for a few months...).

I hate feeling as defeated as I do right now and the lack of sleep combining with it along with the frustrations of work and Kennywood just makes me snap and be quick to anger, which I don't want to be.

I'm off to bed...up early to get the car fixed and then home to spend the rest of my now wasted weekend doing nothing close to the fun I was hoping to have.  Guess I'll just hold on for the next chance and try to make it all happen...

I know I'll be fine in the end...I just need to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel because its pretty dark and lonely in here.

: )

Nick D

Summer has, after a few initial bumps, bruises and goofiness-es, turned into a really nice respite from what was a horribly busy and tiring Spring semester.

I can't say that I've gotten everything that I've wanted to get done finished, but I have a good start on some things.  I would have to say that the only discouraging part of summer so far has been the slow job search of a beginning teacher.  I've applied at every available Social Studies job in the state by now.  Mostly I'm just waiting to hear back.  I'm sure I'll get a job somewhere, although I'm slowly coming to the realization that my hopes to stay around here are not entirely realistic if I plan on teaching this fall in a full-time position (which I fully intend to do).

But I'm not too discouraged.  It is, after all, only June 2nd and most schools are still in session or have just finished out their years.  I'm assuming that more and more positions will open up and schools will begin calling for interviews soon.  There are some nice jobs around here that should be open.

Working at Ritz has been quite different this summer.  Last summer, I was number two.  The first person in line if something happened to Shana.  The year before it was the same way.  The year before that it was also the same.  This summer, even though I'm still pretty much Shana's second, I'm no longer the one directly on the hook if she has to vacate.  It's nice being the part timer behind three full timers rather than the full timer disguised as a part timer directly next in line of succession.

Things could have been different.  I could have stepped up last summer and said that I wanted consideration as the new manager in Washington.  I would be in charge, making 30-40 thousand dollars a year doing something I'm very comfortable doing.  I also wouldn't be entirely happy doing it, which is why I'm not managing the Washington store and am, instead, working a steady 25 to 30 hours at South Hills. 

I chose to move to the Village for two reasons.  First, when I was student teaching, it was right there by the school (ten minutes away) and was the logical place to go after school was out to work.  Second, Beth had no hours left in Washington.  Third, Washington had driven me nuts since Shana had left and I had relinquished command to Beth in late July.  Christmas had been the most stressful time in my life and I was not up for that continuing.  So Shana told me to wait a few weeks and I would have a job there.  Sure enough, it worked.

Now I'm quite happy.  I've fit in quite well with the other staff and I've also made more new friends than I would have imagined...that reminds me I need to watch "Waterworld" so I can get it back to John on Wednesday...  I don't feel stressed.  And, unlike the last three summers, I know that I'm not going to be the fall guy this time if something happens.  I'm a part of a well-oiled machine.  I'm also thriving up there and making nearly twice what I was making last summer at this time.  You can't beat that.

I was up visiting Julie this weekend.  She's started her diet plan and I've started mine.  June is my month.  My goal is 20 pounds before August.  My ultimate goal is 50-60 pounds by New Years.  I'm totally changing my diet.  Julie has given me some great tips that she's picked up from her program and I'm going to implement them quickly.  I'm tired of spinning my wheels on diets like I have for five years.  I'm also at that point where I'm not losing weight naturally anymore and I need to find something to curb the pounds.  I was doing great until last week, when I binged really bad all week.  Now I'm firmly back on track.

My reading for summer has started to.  I couldn't decide which of my roughly 1,000 books to read first, so I bought a new one: "Hacking Harvard" by Robin Wasserman.  It's supposed to be a good book and it got good reviews.  It's a technology book, which I like.  It's also around my age bracket, which is even better.  So far, it's really good.  After I finish it, I'm not sure what I'll read next.

My desire to be more tan this summer is off to a start too.  I'm crispy burnt right now on my shoulders and chest, but should be able to get tanned there now that I've burnt it once.  I have to be aware of being outside more often, though.  I think that going out to exercise will help too.

It was nice seeing Julie this weekend.  I feel very relaxed hanging out with her and her family (which includes Shirley and Madi next door).  This weekend was nice because it was all fun (besides watching the Penguins fall flat on their faces again...).  I'm so excited to go to Ocean City in August with her and the family.  It's going to be a GREAT time!!!

: )

Nicky D

I'm joking of course.  I can enjoy summer and search for a job at the same time.  But I will say that the pressure that my family is putting on me is unfair.  I hate feeling like I'm under a microscope all the time.  I've always managed to accomplish things myself.  I don't understand why people, particularly mom, can't just let me go a bit.  I don't like being interrogated every single day, and that is all that happens.

I just want to relax sometimes.  I don't want to constantly discuss things with people.  I'm working hard and no one seems to believe me.  It's just frustrating to me.  I wish people would believe me.  I really am telling the truth.

Oh well...I'm trying to enjoy summer.  So far it's been a bit rough, although going to visit Julie was nice.  I felt at ease a little bit.  That hasn't been the case much at home, at least not when I'm not home alone. 

I love being home alone.  I can do my thing my way.

Oh well...things will be fine once I get a job and prove that I'm not lazy and idle...that I actually have been working hard all the time.

: )

Nicky D

So summer is finally here.  The last summer after college.  The last frontier of childhood.  The last time 'round.

Being a teacher, I will enjoy many summers with a decreased workload.  I'm getting a taste of that now, having student taught until the Wednesday before graduation and now sitting at home well past my usual bedtime typing a new journal entry for the first time in what feels like millenia.

I have to say, after two days, I really like this feeling.  I feel so free.  I thought that I would terribly miss the hustle and bustle of teaching.  In some ways, I do.  I found myself wondering today how my students were doing in their last weeks of class.  I wonder if they miss me.  I miss them.  I miss the laughter of lunch and the long talks during cafeteria duty.  I miss a lot of it and yet I don't.  I don't miss the pressure, the short hours of sleep sandwiched tightly between endless hours of working.  I don't miss feeling like I have no free time.

I don't miss college either.  I feel relieved to be done.  It was a nice feeling walking across that stage.  It was a bit surreal though.  I remember being halfway to Armenti and thinking "is this really happening?"  as I walked.  I don't remember much else from showing the number to Dean Jones to the handshake with the President.  Everything else is such a blur.  I know it was only about five seconds, but those five seconds separate so much past from so much future.  In those five seconds, I took the steps out of adolescence and into adulthood...steps that cannot be reversed.

I loved it too.  I loved feeling empowered.  I would say that the feeling of euphoria has carried over.  I remember after high school graduation.  I remember the party a week later.  I pretty much was sleep walking.  I had little interest in anything.  I wanted to sleep.  I didn't want to be at work.  I remember idling through that summer wanting it to be over...wanting to be at WVU.

Four years later, I've grown.  I took to my party with gusto.  I enjoyed it.  I also woke up Monday feeling refreshed and excited.  Next thing I knew, I had reorganized my entire room.  Today I cleaned my car better than ever before.  I'm not sure where all the energy is emitting from, but I hope it holds.  I think it's great. 

Tomorrow I'm going up to Pittsburgh to see Julie.  It should be a nice time to relax a little.  It will take me away from being able to clear out the whole house.  I'm afraid I'll get too much done.  I have huge lists of stuff to do.  I also can't wait to get to Ritz and work.  It's CRAZY!

Hoping to get a few calls for interviews soon.  I may start branching out my search...slowly...

Well, I'm going to go wind down for the night!

: )

Nicky D

Or break down...in the case of the car...

Anyway, it's been a pretty good break so far, if you take away the car's Monday night meltdown, which didn't really occur during break, but changed my plans for break a little. 

So, I was driving back from picking up some dinner.  I pulled into the drive way just in time for my car to start blowing smoke out from under the hood and sizzling.  The heat gauge on the dash also had shot off the chart.  So I cut the engine and popped the hood.  It was a sight.  There was coolant everywhere burning off and sizzling.  Eventually I drove it down to the closest garage and put it in for repairs.  $511 later, my car has brand new gaskets, valve covers, a thermostat, and oil.  It runs like it did when I first got it.  If I could only track down the jerk who ran me off the road a few months back, I'd send him a bill since this is when all the issues started.

That was a lousy way to start things off.  Julie had to come get me instead of me just driving down to her.  Then she had to drop me off at grandma's house (where I spent the last day).  Poor her.  I felt bad making her go through all of that.

Had a great time with her, though.  I really got to unwind a bit, not to mention that I got to spend time with Julie for the first time in what felt like forever.  It was a tease, though, because it really wasn't nearly enough time.

Luckily, I'll be back down there in another week for class.  That will give me some more time with Julie.

In the mean time, I'm turning my attention to planning out lessons for as far ahead as I can.  I now have a SmartBoard at my disposal and I will make use of it from time to time if I can.  I want to get as much done as I can so that I can take that much time off mentally after school once I start again.  I figure if I put in a few hours each of the next few days, I can get a ton of work done and can basically get about two weeks ahead.  Then I just put in a little here and there to finish the last few weeks of student teaching.

So that's where things are right now.  I've pretty much settled into teaching every day and I'm getting the hang of moving day to day without any issues.

: )

Nicky D

Well...March is here.  Thankfully, that means that it will soon be full-blown Spring with warmer temperatures and prettier weather.  It also means I have right around two months until graduation from college.

I'm currently assembling applications for jobs all around the area.  Here's the list of places that I'm looking at right now:

Trinity, Canon-Mac, Chartiers-Houston, Shaler

That's just a start.  Both this and next month I'm going to job fairs to get my name out there and to maybe entertain a few job offers.  I'm on the fence over whether I'd take an out of state job over staying in state and going into a masters degree program at Pitt (where I want to go for a History masters).  It will be an interesting time to see what develops.  If I do go out of state, I'll go south before I go north or west. 

Oh well.  I'm pretty confident that I'll find a job around here and that none of this will be an issue come August.

Wow...August...will it really be that soon that I'm taking over my own classes and subject only to guidelines of curriculum and school policy?  Will I really be in charge of classes taht soon?  WOW!

I'm doing well with student teaching.  The kids seem to be taking to me pretty good as well.  This week I start the Vietnam War unit that I've prepared.  I'm really excited to start this off and I hope that being excited about a topic will put an end to my infrequent jitters and even more infrequent awful performances.  I had a great week in front of the kids, so I think that I may have turned a corner there.  Plus, Vietnam is all mine.  No input at all from Ashley beyond making sure my handouts and overheads look good.

It's very rewarding to teach your own material.  At first, I was teaching Ashley's and I was questioning whether I wanted to teach.  I just felt like the days drug on so slowly and monotonously.  Then my own lessons came into play and I once again regained that passion for teaching.  I can't describe how enthusiastic I feel when the bells ring, even though there is always that bit of trepidation in the back of my mind.  I also can't describe the good feeling that comes from seeing a student learn something you're teaching.  It's amazing.

Less than two months to go for student teaching.  It's so long, yet so short a time.  I'm looking beyond Vietnam a little now to my final unit with them.  It's hard to believe that at one point in the next few weeks I'll complete my last planning for student teaching and will go into straight execution mode. 

Looking back at college, it feels like such a short time period where so much still managed to happen.  I have one summer before my career begins now.  Six months from now, I'll be preparing things for the first days of school. 

For the summer, so many things will happen.  I'll be at Ritz at the Village, of course.  Can't have summer without Ritz.  Fortunately (and finally), however, this summer should harbor none of the freak disasters or changes of the previous three...changes that forced me into 40+ hour weeks of work for the whole summer.  Last summer was the wildest, with me going from working with Shana and being kind of her right hand man to being basically in charge for several weeks.  I left for school already burned out and proceeded to have a successful, if not extremely senioritis-laced and lazy semester.  Christmas was rougher yet and killed my desire to work so much that I did not work for the first two months of the new year.

But I'll be back for about 25 hours a week in the summer.  Otherwise, I have a variety of ideas about summer.  I plan to go fishing often.  I know Doug is itching to head up to the cabin.  He wanted me to go ice fishing a few weeks ago, part joking...part serious.  Elise also wants to go fishing, so I'll probably hang out with her.  I also am planning to go to the beach with Julie in August, which will basically be my farewell to summer.  I also will spend time with her whenever possible.  I'm thinking about going to a couple Pirates games...more to see the opponents than the Buccos, but who knows.  I'm also going to go on a few long drives to nowhere in particular and take pictures of what I find.  It's been a long time since I just took a pointless drive.  Something about that escaping reality feeling is so appealing every once in awhile.

I'm really at peace with life.  Things are unfolding well and I can't complain about where I'm at on my journey.  I still need that new computer, but that is getting resolved in the next several weeks (my tax return needs to show up very, very soon).  Other than the complications of a four year old laptop breaking down ever so quietly, life is very much perfect.

Or at least perfectly imperfect.  I tend to believe that there's always more.

: )

Nicky D

It won't be but a few more hours until these old bones mark another full year on the planet.  I'll be 22 at midnight tonight.  Well, if you want to be technical, I'll be 22 around 7am tomorrow morning, but I'm not technical.

Student teaching is going reasonably well.  A few bumps in the road last week.  Last Monday during one of my classes I went completely stupid and spent most of the period blindly reciting from a sheet.  I recovered to have a good final period of the day and since then I've been just fine again.  I was having some serious issues Monday that sent me into a tailspin. 

I'm planning my first unit, and its becoming a burden.  I'm not sure I'm going to ever teach my own classes unit by unit.  I'll teach them subject by subject.  That may sound the same to most of you, but to me there is a big difference.  Instead of, lets say, preparing a whole unit on Vietnam, I'd instead prepare to spend a week on this aspect of the war and a week on that aspect and a week on another.  I'm having some anxiety right now, particularly because I'm not sure how to do this and I've never done it before besides in theory. 

I've come to the conclusion that I'm a more thematically minded teacher.  I would be more likely to teach war and conflict as a whole unit rather than do things chronologically.  So many things to think about when I'm preparing my own school stuff.  I'm really dispassionate about our textbook as well.  I think its one of the nicest texts I've seen, but it lacks any real substance. 

Then again, I was never one to teach with a textbook and I never will.  My students will be lucky if they are ever asked to crack the textbook (or even are distributed a textbook). 

I could finish the unit if I only had one activity idea for dealing with the Latino movement.  I've got everything else figured out.  The biggest problem is that I can't find an activity.  I spent all weekend on it an came up empty.  I got the other activity I wanted to do figured out for the most part.  

I had a generally lousy weekend.  I was sick almost all of it and actually missed class today because I was running a fever for the third day.  The fever finally broke for good around 1pm and now I feel about 85%.  With a good night's sleep, I'm hoping that I'll feel at least 90-95% tomorrow.  I still have a weird and sometimes wild cough and a great deal of congestion that is slowly disapating, but other than that I'm back to form.

Well, I'm going to get to work on some stuff.  I have a lot of relaxing to do tonight...hahaha!

: )

Nicky D

Yes, I now have a strategy in place for replacing my abyssmal laptop. I'm going back to work at Ritz in Washington. I figure if I work a month at peak efficiency, which is what I'll be aiming for, I'll be able to finance out the major part of it over the next ten months and I'll make enough per month to pay it off.

I'm not much for credit applications and the like, but this serves two purposes. It builds my credit as long as I make the payments (which I will pay more than the minimum so its paid off faster than the plan) and it lets me get the laptop a lot sooner.

I've found the computer I want and I've done the homework on what I'm getting. I have a lot of accessories from my old one, but I'm going to finance a new system and keep the old stuff as backups.

Here's what I'm getting and my price plan.

$849.99-HP Special Edition Laptop with AMD Turion™
$199.99-3 Year Service Agreement thru Best Buy
$49.99-Bluetooth Wireless Mouse

I'm also looking at a $50 cable that will allow me to wire the laptop to a TV or projector and a wireless remote (preferrably Bluetooth) that I can use when doing PowerPoint slideshows.

I'm also looking into a 4GB flash drive for files. I'm keeping my 140 GB external hard drive, even though I may look into a portable 80 GB one that Ritz has and isn't too expensive. That would be a later purchase along with the remote and possibly even the mouse and cable. I'd like to get the latter two, particularly the cable, immediately though so I can use the laptop during Student Teaching if I want/need to.

I've got it thought out. The financing would ease immediate financial burden and allow me to work it off over a few months. Even if I only make $150 a month, thats more than the minimum payment over 10 months of no interest would be. I have to research Best Buy's financing. I did it with my last laptop to great avail and would like to do so again.



And now for why I'm kicking my shoes off in a fit of joy.

It's been a Dane Cook kind of day. Julie keeps talking in Dane Cook quotes too, which only magnifies it a little. Not to mention going to Burger King tonight for dinner.

Yesterday, I took over 3rd period. That was the schedule. It went really well minus some timing and pacing issues. Today was better in that regard but Monday will be a better test since I'll be doing it without a two hour delay schedule, which rushed me today. But now I also get 7 and 9th period! I'm so speechlessly excited! I feel like I'm ahead of where I thought I would be, but behind where I want to be. It's only been three weeks and I still have three full months ahead of me. I need to pace myself a little bit...haha!

So here we go! I'm going to be busy. Every free minute of this semester is going to be filled I think. I'll be teaching, working, and spending time with Julie. All of it is factored in and taken care of. Nothing will be neglected. It all just needs to fall into place and happen now!

Ok, I'm officially excited!

Search that laptop...its a really SWEET looking thing...and with even sweeter specs!!!

Alright...I'm going to get some work done!

: )

Nicky D

Yeah...tomorrow is little big day.  What does that mean?  It means that its like a big day, but the bigger day is to come.

Tomorrow I take over the first class of five full time.  I'm really excited, even if for a little while I'll still be flying with a co-pilot and following someone else's flight plans.  Baby steps...I have to keep reminding myself that good things come to those who wait.  I've always had to wait for the good stuff (especially with finding a girlfriend) so this should be no different.

Mid-February, I'll begin the next unit in the class.  At that point, I will have all five classes.  That will be BIG BIG day!  I'm already working out lesson plans, planning assignments and assessments, and creating PowerPoint slides.  I'm determined to go into that first day ready to go.  I don't want to be up late and there early every day trying to prepare everything last minute.  I'm going to be one of those teachers who knows a week in advance at the worst everything they'll be doing. 

In the mean time, I will probably take on one if not two more classes after the one tomorrow.  That way I am easing into things.

I got observed yesterday for the first time.  It was okay for the most part.  Nothing beyond the realm of expectation for me or my co-op teacher.  All in all, for the first real day of teaching for me, teaching someone else's lesson for the very first period, it went well.  Once I have my own plans I'll fill time better and manage my classroom a lot differently.  But for now, I have to adjust and make things fit and prove that I can be adaptable and creative.  I look at it as a positive.

I'm having a great semester.  Perhaps the greatest challenge of it all is for me to not see Julie or any of my other friends every day.  It's really hard and I feel kind of alone in Washington every day.  I'm always glad for a chance to go to Cal.  I'm going back to work at Ritz in the next week or so, just a day or two during the week and a couple days on weekends here and there when I can fit it in.  I'm not pushing too hard because Ritz is really like number three on my priority list.  Had I not blown $630 in October, I might not have had to work at all in Spring, but its time for me to repent for that I guess.  I need to have money to cover gas, food, insurance, and purchases.  I have a good  bit of money left from my hard-working time of Christmas, but I won't be able to stretch it much further if I don't start putting money back in.  But like I said, its number three.  Julie and my social life and Student Teaching come first to me.  I can't put work above those two parts of my life.  I just can't.  I have the rest of my life to be career oriented.  I also need to apply for jobs and interview, so I'm busy enough with more important things as it is.  I just need some spare money to spend. 

I also need a new computer, but that may have to wait until March or April.  It all depends on how well I do at work.  If I can go in there a few days each week and burn up the sales floor, which will be my aim, then I can afford to put a computer in the budget soon.  If I go in and can't keep busy, then I'm going to have to wait it out.  My old computer, as I've said a million times, won't last much longer.

Well, I'm going to go pour over some books before bed and watch LOST!!!  The premier for the season is tomorrow and I can't wait!

: )

Nicky D

So I have some thoughts on what's going on these days in the world.

My life is pretty great.  I can't complain.  I have a wonderful, understanding girlfriend.  I'm student teaching at a school in which I feel very comfortable.  I'm enjoying all of the new challenges I have in life and I feel like I'm ready to turn the corner into the job world and become a full-time teacher.

The world outside my own little world is interesting though.

For example, this November America will have a new President.  I'm not fond of President Bush, which is no big secret to those who know me.  It's not all about Iraq, either.  I have some serious hang ups with "No Child Left Behind" and some of his other programs.  I'm not in total agreement on Iraq either, although I'm not sure how I would have reacted in the same shoes, so I'm not going to pass too much judgement on that. 

I have NO idea at all who I'm going to vote for.  Each candidate, even the remaining minor ones, has something to offer America as its leader.  They also each have their drawbacks. 

If nothing changes...if the election were held today...I'd vote for Hillary Clinton because I think she has the best idea of not only what the country needs but also how to run it.  I think that part of where Bush has failed is in how to run the country.  Sometimes I think he is on the ball, most times I think he's lost.  I also think Hillary can command support when needed and that will be key in the restructuring which I'm sure is ahead.

Well I think that's my big thing today.  I'm going to go work on some homework until Julie gets done with her meetings.

: )

Nicky D

Yeah, student teaching is all about learning to be a teacher in the classroom, but I'm learning more than that.  I'm learning all kinds of things about being a teacher, from being recognized wherever you go to not going certain places at certain times just to stay in hiding to how to act in faculty rooms.  It's a very instructive time for me and I feel that I've changed a lot since Christmas and that I've grown up a bit too.

Lots of changes from this time last semester, when I would have been sleepily making my way up from the office (where I would have probably updated this thing earlier) after being up all but three of the last 24 hours.  Now, I'm sitting cozied up to my desk after work  relaxing and virtually well rested.  I'm doing really good at sleeping more evenly, even if I haven't yet gotten to the point of sleeping a lot.  I'll steadily get to bed earlier now I think, especially as I adjust to ratcheting down my evening stuff.

I'm not living at Cal any more, which may be the biggest adjustment at all.  It really makes me appreciate things more.  Julie said in her journal that she thinks that after our awfully rough fall that this distance is helping our relationship grow positively.  I agree.  We are much happier together now.  Not all of it is because of the distance.  Part of it is because we are apart, but some of it is because we've both grown up a bit and made peace with our last semester issues.  In some ways, it was me who needed to do the adjusting most. 

Student teaching is wonderful.  I finally, after not feeling challenged hardly ever in college or high school classes, feel like I have a purpose and a challenge when I wake up in the morning.  I feel like the days mean something when it comes to education.  I'm also actually learning more than I ever learned in the last four years.  It's amazing how much more important hands on instruction is when it comes to learning how to do something.

I haven't gone back to work yet, but I will be doing that soon.  I have a laundry list of things to pay for.  First, I need a new computer badly.  This old gal is dying fast from the battery problems to slowing down ever so slighlty.  Second, I need to pay for my car insurance.  Third, I need to pay for gas to go to Cal when I want/need to.  Fourth I need to save for an apartment so I can move out on my own when I get my job in the fall.  Fifth, I need money to just have.  I don't have much in the way of "disposable income" (and you think I can't teach economics? LOL) right now, and I'd love to have some of that so I can have fun whenever I want.

A lot has changed, but I'm a better happier person.  I don't have bags under my eyes any more from lack of sleep.  I don't have zits and breakout spots on my face and nose.  I'm slowly starting to round into shape (no round is not the shape either!!!) physically and mentally.  I'm also getting back to things I hadn't done in a long time: reading, writing, relaxing.  I think I sped through fall trying to get to student teaching.  In the process I severely screwed up lots of things and was not a happy camper.  Now I feel great, energetic, and happier than I've been in a long, long time!

Well, I'm going to get back to doing stuff.  You can thank Julie for inspiring this update, which will hopefully lead to more updates!

: )

Nicky D

...and that gauntlet is Student Teaching.

Tomorrow I go to my first round of meetings.  That lasts until one and then I'll either be heading back home or waiting until three to take Julie home and get my hair trimmed up as a last little preparation for Monday.

I'm pretty much ready to go.  I'm excited and prepared as much as possible.  I am really exhausted from moving, though, and I hope to spend the weekend generally recouperating. 

I'm really kinda beat up I think.  I burnt the candle at both ends all through break and now I'm really kind of ready to crash.  Too bad.  I'll be ready though.  I'm good at being ready when its necessary.  I've always been ready.  I'd have made a good Marine in the mental sense (and only the mental sense...those guys are physical demons and I envy them). 

Got to spend a nice couple days with Julie to help her move to Jefferson and then to just hang out.  It was relaxing even if I spent most of the time I was down there packing up stuff.  Like I said it was really hard to leave old Building A, fourth floor.  I really am in love with her.  Things are wonderful again and I've finally fixed my issues with things.  It was a heavenly time with her.  I can't wait to spend more time with her, especially since time is precious nowadays...

Well speaking of precious time, I'm going to get to bed.  Got to be at Cal by 8am!

: )

Nicky D

Also goodbye to Building A and on campus housing at Cal U (the Suite Life)...

As I, for the last time, made the trip from Building A, 453 down the hall, through the security doors (unpropping one as I went), into the suddenly brightly lit elevator, down to the lobby, into the CA office, and back out to my car for the last time, I took a moment to ponder my last year and a half in Building A, the best time of my life so far. 


Fond Memories
-in 406, asking Julie out as we sat under the window in the moonlight on my old black futon as Phantom of the Opera or Remember the Titans played on the DVD player in the far corner.
-triumphantly returning to 453 this October 29th to tell Julie that I had been accepted to Student Teaching this Spring.
-moving in and out both for 406 and 453...what an adventure moving is.
-in 406, meeting Julie for the second time.
-my bulletin boards outside the rooms (special thanks to mom and Julie for helping me put them all together).
-movie nights in 406 last Spring
-Pens games with Julie and Andy and Jason
-The aftermath of partying at Jens with Julie, Jess and Jason (the J-Team???)
-waking up next to Julie so many times
-falling asleep next to her too
-locking myself out of 406 four times and 453 twice
-fire drills
-any time Raves ran by, ran in, knocked, pounded, visited, barged in, etc.
-all of the people on my two wings
-witty office banter with Jim and AJ
-witty office banter about AJ
-witty office banter about Mark
-doing rounds
-sitting the desk with Julie, especially the overnights with her and Andy


And those are just a few of the memorable moments...I can't remember all of them right this second...but there are so many.

I can't imagine not having done the CA thing for a year and a half.  It was so much fun and provided the backdrop for so many zany moments.

I'm sad to leave, but boy am I excited to start at Peters Twp. on Monday.  It's like a big high for me and I'm ready to roll!



: )

Nicky D

Well, I woke up this morning early with a terribly sore throat and a ton more congestion than before...

...and I took my first sick day in over four--actually closer to five--years.  Seems like I'm way ahead of the curve there.  I hate taking sick days and more than once I've gone to work under the weather, but today I couldn't do it.  I've been getting sicker and only now that I've had a day to do absolutely nothing have I begun to turn the corner.  The congestion is gone and now my throat is starting to loosen a bit, although it is still extremely rough. 

I'll be back at work tomorrow barring waking up with any ridiculous change in how I feel.  I really hope that I feel better because I really hate missing work.  Tomorrow will be a relatively short, early day anyway, meaning I can come home and crash after dinner if I'm still a little low.  Then I don't work until 4pm the next day, alleviating the need to worry about sleeping in. 

I didn't do much of anything today, just sat and read and watched TV.  Reading made me tired, so I frequently collapsed into sleep without much provocation.  I slept tonight for about two hours off and on after I couldn't read anymore.  I'm really tired, but I think most of that is all the medicine I've taken to fight this jerk of a cold. 

Oh well...just a quick update.  I think I'm going to call it a night and get into bed again until Julie calls.  I'm glad I took her advice and took a day to recover, not that I wouldn't have come by that conclusion myself when I couldn't speak this morning.  Retail is, after all, being able to talk someone into buying something they want.  Can't talk, can't sell.

: )

Nicky D

And here we are again at the dawning of a beautiful new year...2008...the year I've been waiting for for quite some time.  As far back as early high school I can remember looking at 2008 and thinking "REAL graduation!  I hope I make it there..."  Well, here I am only four months and ten days from graduating with a bachelors degree and, as my Nana put it, taking the next big step.

New Years and Christmas were as perfect as pie, with the general exception that I was somewhat sick for both.  I haven't shaken this cold and its gone to a nasty point.  Last night and today were awful.  Luckily I'm not on some medicine that seems to be clearing it all up.  If it's not said and done by next week I'm going to venture to a doctor. 

Brought in the New Year with Julie and her mom this year.  Its a marked difference from doing it with mom and dad, and I really did miss the hot dogs and saurkraut at midnight and the dozens of phone calls and the cheering and having dad there to make fun of people.  But I really wanted to bring it in with Julie this time.  I did that, and I loved every second of it.

Back to work tomorrow...no rest for the sick and weary.  So I'll get off of here now and get ready for bed.  More tomorrow night!


: )

Nicky D

Yeah today was pretty awful.  Yesterday and last night were awful too. 

Tomorrow will be good.  It just has to be.  I can't hit bottom any more.

I've gotten to the point that I can't please anyone, let alone myself.  Somehow there has to be a way out of the rut.  I need to find that way and tear up as long as possible until I'm back on top.

I've got a lot of issues right now, not the least of which (and not the worst either) is my insomnia that has suddenly developed.  Part of it last night can be explained away, but the three nights before that cannot be.  If I don't find a way to sleep regularly again, and soon, I'm going to be dead from sleep deprivation. 

I've got to get Christmas shopping done.  I was going to get Julie's presents today, but to no avail.  I can't find the thing I want to get her, and the things that are comparable stink.  I need to find it and soon.  I've got ideas for a couple other things besides the big one, but I'm not nearly as worried about those.  I don't know what to get Dad and the book I want to get mom doesn't seem to exist even though she and Dad saw it last week.  This is annoying.  I've never had to wait this long to get my shopping done.  Half the time, I've been done in October.  I like to be done early and now I'm lost trying to get what I need.

I've got to solve a lot of problems with my life and quickly.  I can't deal with all of the crap that seems to have suddenly clogged up my life.  I need to clean house a bit. 

I've got to find a way to tolerate work.  Today was lousy and I came home and was incredibly rude and mean because I was self-absorbed in a bad mood.  I missed that mom decorated our downstairs tree in all Steelers items for me.  Then I blew it off.  How mean.  I feel like crap now.  Beth is an awful boss, I didn't know when I was working tomorrow (or the rest of the week) until 8pm tonight.  She decided to make me stay until nine so she could leave at 8 when I was orignally supposed to leave.  I originally asked for today off.  My how things change.  But most alarming are my numbers for two days since summer ended (day after Thanksgiving and today) are not even shadows of my early work five years ago.  They stink.  I was a selling machine before.  Now, I just don't seem to care enough.

Tomorrow I'm going to fight hard to close every sale correctly and to be prepared and successful.  If I fail at that point, then its not my fault.  It's just the season when its hard to sell extras and protection plans.  I'll survive this.  I have to prove to myself I can survive again.  If not, I'll lose my mind and a lot more.  I only have to make it through this season and then I can either work a summer job for a little or can try once again to transfer to the Village and Shana's safe haven.

Ok...enough.  Time to go make a difference instead of watching things happen to me.

: )

Nicky D